Chasing Balls at the Wrong Park

Source Feed: The Future of HR: Holistic Regeneration

Published: 2026-07-09 15:56:16

Content Type ID: 3

Togo staring at Kukla and Capo’s blue and orange balls at our local dog park.

Today, as I watch my dog prance around our backyard searching for mice and sniffing the air, I’m noodling a question that isn’t fully formed yet: what does it mean to create something new in the world and be held accountable for its impact? A one-off project. A company that gets acquired or goes public. An institution that outlives you. Or, yes, even a child. And what does that have to do with my retirement account?

Does a mother feel no guilt if her child becomes a murdering psychopath? And in the same breath, should CEOs like Mark Zuckerberg not be held responsible for what their companies have done to teen mental health, and spread of misinformation and political violence worldwide? Or Sam Altman, who this week floated giving the government a 5% stake in OpenAI, as if a dividend check could settle the question of what’s actually being built, and for whom.

I’m also sitting with Frederic Laloux’s essay “Where Do You Feel Out of Integrity?”, shared this week in the Corporate Rebels newsletter. His underlying assumption is that CEOs act out of integrity because of shareholder pressure and over time, a self-numbing that leaves extrinsic motivation as the default driver of behavior. I think that’s only part of the story.

The cost of voting with my dollars

I spent close to ten hours last week trying to rebalance my retirement portfolio to align with my values. The funds rated well by Invest Your Values carry higher expense ratios and lower returns than what I’m already invested in through Schwab. It’s hard to justify the switch.

I am not okay with the advice my finance professor gave me in grad school to just go with the S&P 500 because, in his words, “you can’t beat the market”. I hate that he’s not wrong.

This is a big part of why I’m in a Trauma of Money book club right now, trying to understand the parts of me that are in cognitive dissonance with each other. One part wants to vote with my dollars. One part is afraid of becoming old while poor. Another part wants capitalism and the stock market to disappear entirely, and holds onto hope that we’ll build something else (time banks, mutual credit, something, anything!), and actually make it work. And yet another part is terrified of being left behind for refusing to play the game.

The necessity to do this deep shadow work is what is missing from Laloux’s synthesis. It’s not so much that founders are disconnected from their purpose and what makes them feel alive (although yes, sometimes this is true), but that as a human species, our survival is still tied up in the extractive, capitalist system we’ve inherited. No amount of reflection on Laloux’s own prompts — what practices don’t sit right with me, what would a six-year-old find hard to explain — will help me integrate the parts of me that are at war with each other inside, trying to live in integrity in a world that doesn’t reward that. I’m not numb; I’m paralyzed by my lack of alternatives.

The no-ayahuasca clause

What’s fascinating to me is something that made me gape with my mouth wide open at Human and Tech Week in SF and that speaks volumes to our rewards structures in the business world: some VCs are now including “no ayahuasca” clauses in term sheets. The assumption being that a founder who has a life-altering shift in consciousness might stop being motivated to grow a company that’s extracting from the Earth. That’s destroying life.

Well…duh.

So is it really founders and CEOs who are the problem? Or is it investors and shareholders, expecting a financial return no matter what gets pillaged along the way? Yes, myself (as a retirement account holder) included.

Until we solve that, I think Laloux and I are circling the same drain. I respect the impulse to call founders into greater integrity. I share it, and it’s why I created a Founder Archetype Quiz inspired partially by Laloux’s organizational consciousness framework. But we can’t keep pointing the finger at individual founder behavior when the deeper issue is the incentive structure itself.

A metaphor for the dog parents because I’m obsessed and I can

It feels a bit like trying to convince my dog to stop chasing other dogs’ toys at the park. He’s actually more of a rope dog at heart; I know this about him. He loves to eat the strings which leads to annoying toilet issues later (IYKYK).

But truly, if we’re standing in a park where every other dog is chasing balls AND getting treats for it, how do I convince Togo not only that a ball isn’t actually what he wants, but that we should go play in a completely different park? A park that, by the way, hasn’t been built yet, and won’t be handing out treats either. At least not right away. Most likely not in his lifetime.

That’s a hard sell.

We probably have to build the park before we can lure the dogs over.

And if time banks and crypto-bro digital-nomad communes are the only alternatives on offer right now…well then, let me know if I can dog sit for you in exchange for some shelter and clean water on Mars.

If this piece resonated, I’d genuinely love to know: how are you holding yourself accountable for what you create in the world and/or investing in alignment with your values? Or who should I know about that inspires you in these areas?

In the mood for a short, fun quiz that helps you identify your primary motivators for becoming a founder? Only 10 questions. Free. No data collected or stored anywhere. Truly just for your enjoyment. If you take it, I’d love to hear what you get!

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Check out some of my earlier musings on the intersection of business and the Divine Feminine: